What Balzac brings out admirably is that, in love, we act and are acted upon. Youcheat, you lie, you put a pawn forward, only to pretend to withdraw it. Most of all, however, you are acted upon. The feeling of love grows within us without us realising it. It won’t let us go, until at last it comes to the surface with a clarity that fills us with joy and fear at once. That is ex...